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Copyright Ozark County Times
Terry’s story; Grandmothers hope other teens listen and learn from
their tragedy
by Regina Wynn
Terry Peat died in a tragic car crash May 28, 2006. A student at Dora High
School, Terry was 16 at the time of his death.
It was an average Sunday morning in May when the call came requesting response
to a vehicle rollover one mile north of Brixey in northern Ozark County.
It’s a fairly frequent call. Vehicle wrecks and rollovers are not uncommon
on the curvy and hilly roads of the Ozarks.
It was a call emergency personnel had responded to many times.
It was a call members of the Peat family, full of First Responders, had trained
for.
But this accident, this wreck, was different. It was an emergency
responder’s worst nightmare.
And, not knowing their nightmare was just beginning, Bob and Tammy Peat,
their son Robert, daughter Robin and Tammy’s mother Shirrley Williams
responded to the call.
“Tammy knew something wasn’t right,” said Shirrley. “I
don’t know how, but she knew.”
There on that stretch of N Highway lay a car, upside down in the road.
Tammy and Shirrley recognized the car. It belonged to Brandilynn Little of
Ava.
The Peat family knew Brandilynn very well. She was Bob and Tammy’s son
Terry’s girlfriend.
And that Sunday morning they knew Terry was with Brandilynn – on their
way to mow her grandfather’s grass.
“When we got there Brandilynn was sitting on the side of the road,”
remembers Shirrley. “I told Tammy to deal with Brandilynn and I would
check on Terry.”
Shirrley pauses, struggling to speak through the tears. “I saw his legs
and I knew. I knew he was gone.”
Bob’s mother, Nancy Peat, finishes Shirrley’s thought. “There
was no doubt that Terry was gone, but Shirrley had to make sure.”
“Deputy (Geoff) Hand was next to Terry,” continues Shirrley. “He
had Terry covered up with a towel. When he saw me, he came over and said
‘you don’t want to go over there’ but I did. I had to make
sure that Terry was really gone.”
Hand watched Shirrley closely as she checked on her grandson.
“He wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to lose it,” says Shirrley.
“He wanted to make sure I was going to be OK.
“When I saw Terry I knew he hadn’t survived. I told Officer Hand
that I’d be right back. I went and told Tammy to stay and take care
of Brandilynn, not come up to Terry. Then I went back.”
By that time Bob, Robert and Robin had arrived at the scene.
“Bobby and Robert came down and tried to come to Terry,” says Shirrley.
“But I told the officer to make them stay away. They didn’t need
to see Terry like that.”
The accident that took Terry’s life was difficult for most of the emergency
personnel responding to the scene. They were responding to the scene with
a victim most of them knew. A fellow firefighter and First Responder.
A 16-year-old boy.
But what was difficult for the emergency personnel was devastating to the
close-knit Peat family.
“He was such a good boy,” says Nancy. “He was always right
there to help us.”
Shirrley smiles. “He’d come every day and ask if there was some
way he could help me. If anyone needed help, he’d come running.
“He liked working,” she continues. “I’d ask him to do
something, telling him he could wait until he got a minute, but he’d
always do it right away. He didn’t put off doing things.”
Terry wanted to be a firefighter, a goal he was steadfastly working toward
when he was killed.
“Terry was a very special boy,” says Nancy. “His family and
friends knew that but we didn’t realize so many other people knew it
too. It was proved the day of his service.”
Fire department personnel, first responders, EMTs and law enforcement from
several counties attended the memorial service to show their support to
Terry’s family and to honor him.
“They had met Terry at trainings, at fire scenes, vehicle accidents
and other calls. They all remembered him.”
Nancy stops and takes a breath, tears falling freely down her cheeks.
“He received a full firefighters funeral service. It made us feel so
very proud. But it was hard, too. The bagpipes playing Amazing Grace, the
bugle blowing Taps and the sounding of the bell were especially hard. But
they were all there to honor Terry.
 The Peat family gathered to
honor Terry this past weekend when a brick was dedicated to him in the
Firefighters Memorial Rose Garden in Kingdom City. Pictured are from left
(back row) Josh Cone, Wyatt Cone, Jonathon Whisnant, Erica Whisnant, Billy
Peat, Bob Peat, Tammy Peat, Shalee Carter; (middle row) Nancy Peat, Robin
Peat, Destany Peat, Robert Peat; (bottom row) Maranda Cone, Paige Cone, Misty
Carter, Gabriel Wayne Peat and Shirrley Williams.
“Terry trained to be a firefighter,” she continues. “He was
a junior firefighter with Caney Mountain Volunteer Fire Department and it
was a job he loved and was very good at. He wanted that to be his life’s
work.
“He wanted to help people, to save lives. I wonder how many lives will
be lost because he isn’t here to help.
“He thought firefighting was fun. A lot of people think fighting fire
is hard, but not Terry. He loved it. He was excited about it. One of his
last trainings was a propane tank burning. He got to put his hand inside
the flames, turn off the valve and put the fire out.”
She smiles. “He was telling me about it later, and I said ‘You
HAD to put your hand in the flames.’ He said ‘Yeah, Grandma, it
was cool.’
“That was Terry.”
The grandmothers laugh, remembering the smiling young man.
“He loved my bread,” remembers Nancy. “I’d be at home
making some and he’d just appear. I’d give him some to take home
to his parents or to someone else. But it would never make it there. He’d
eat it well before he got home.”
“Terry spent a month with me in California in 2003,” says Shirrley.
“He thought it was the greatest thing because he could walk from my
house to the railroad yard, to town and the youth center. He loved it because
out here, there’s not a lot of places he could actually walk and be
somewhere.”
But though there are good memories of Terry, the sadness of the past year
sometimes overshadow them.
“After Terry died, his family didn’t even want to sleep at their
house,” says Shirrley. “For four or five days they slept at my
house. But when they went back home, Tammy wanted Terry’s door shut
and locked. She didn’t want anyone to be in there and she couldn’t
go in there herself.
“The door stayed nailed shut for a good month before she finally let
someone go in there.”
“We worry about our children all the time,” says Nancy, again
struggling to speak through tears. “We hurt for them while trying to
deal with our own pain and loss.
“Bob has struggled a lot. He has three other children and three grandkids
that he loves more than he could ever say, but there is still an empty hole
in his heart that only Terry could fill.
“I don’t think Tammy has ever accepted Terry’s loss. She found
out about her dad’s failing health shortly after losing Terry and she
moved him here from California so she could care for him and his health has
gone downhill since.
“It has taken a lot out of their whole family, especially Tammy. Her
dad needs her, but her family also needs her. I’m afraid she’ll
crash when she loses her dad because she’ll have to accept and come
to terms with the loss of her son and her dad.”
Shirrley agrees. “Tammy’s never really dealt with Terry’s
death and she’s thrown herself into taking care of her dad as a way
of coping, I guess.”
“Terry’s older brother Robert just seems to be mad all the time,”
continues Nancy. “And his little brother Billy went to school this year
for the first time without Terry. He’d never gone to school without
Terry.
“He and Terry were very close. They fought like brothers but were always
there for each other.”
“Billy’s gotten real quiet and doesn’t talk nearly as much
as he used to,” says Shirrley. “He used to be a straight A student
but these days he doesn’t want to get up and go to school and his grades
have gone up and down.
“Billy tries to do a lot,” she continues. “He keeps saying
he has to take Terry’s place. We told him he doesn’t have to, we
just want him to be himself.
“He’s picked up some of Terry’s traits and habits, but we
don’t want him to take Terry’s place. It puts a pressure on him
he shouldn’t have.”
Nancy agrees. “He feels like he has to do two times as much as he did
before, to make up for Terry not being here.”
“Terry’s best friend David (Hensley) has now taken Billy under
his wing,” says Shirrley. “I think he feels the need to be included
in our family. He was there all the time when Terry was alive and he’s
there all the time now.”
Nancy smiles. “I think he spends more time with us than his own family.
But it’s a great help. Billy is struggling, and spending time with David
helps him.
“Robin is still real quiet and she’s got her little girl Destany
to keep her on her toes, but she’s still real quiet. She doesn’t
talk a whole lot.
“Bobby is really having a hard time,” she continues. “He’s
trying to be strong, but there are days he just about can’t go.”
“The fire department is the only thing that keeps him going some
days,” adds Shirrley. “Tom Bentele keeps him going a lot and
that’s a good thing.”
Family and friends maintain a small cross along the stretch of highway where
Terry was killed .
“Shirrley still has nightmares,” says Nancy. “She’s the
one who saw Terry after he was killed and she’s the one who has to live
with those images. She can’t close her eyes without seeing that image
of Terry. Robin has hung happy pictures of Terry all over Shirrley’s
bedroom – on the ceiling, headboard, mirror – any place she could
put one.”
“I was the one who went up to make sure Terry was dead because I
didn’t want them to remember him like that,” says Shirrley.
“Since then Tammy and Bobby have asked me what he looked like but I
won’t tell them. They don’t need to know.
“Sometimes Tammy gets mad at me for not telling her. Sometimes she thanks
me. But it’s something I do for them.”
“My dad died in 1978 and I didn’t think I could ever hurt that
bad again,” says Nancy. “I was wrong. Parents shouldn’t outlive
their children and grandparents absolutely should not outlive their
grandchildren.
“It’s hard to go to church on Sunday mornings knowing Terry was
taken from us. God had a plan for Terry, I guess. I just wish I knew what
it was. Maybe that would help us understand why.”
Shirrley and Nancy have relied heavily on each other during the past year,
sharing things with each other that few people could understand.
“Shirrley has been a great friend,” says Nancy. “We grandmas
have shared and cried a lot together this past year. It seems we can talk
to each other about things easier than we can to others.
“It’s hard to go on, to keep on living your lives. Bob, Tammy,
Billy, Robert, Robin, the babies – you keep going for them. We’ve
hung in there for each other.
“You suddenly realize this person is gone. Terry is gone from our everyday
life.
“We will never see his beautiful blue eyes again. Never hear the sound
of his voice. Never get another hug. Never see him walking up the trail to
the house. He won’t graduate next year with his classmates at Dora.
He will never go to his prom. Never get his driver’s license. He’ll
miss his wedding and his first child. He will never step into the backdoor
and say ‘Hey, Grandma’ again.
“This past year has been full of very painful firsts for us. The first
birthday without Terry, the first Christmas, first Thanksgiving.”
And May 28 may be the most painful of all for Terry’s family and friends.
It is the first anniversary of Terry’s death.
Few things have helped heal the ache Terry’s death left in their hearts.
But knowing how deeply Terry’s life and story have touched others, not
only in the community, but in other areas as well, has been a small comfort.
Recently a memorial for firefighters was held in Kingdom City at the Firefighters
Memorial Museum. A brick, anonymously donated, with Terry’s name and
fire department information and his number, 15, was carved and placed in
the walkway of the rose garden.
Also deeply touched by Terry’s death, the Caney Mountain Volunteer Fire
Department recently retired the number 15, Terry’s number, from service.
“It was such a heartfelt honor for our family,” says Nancy.
“Terry was 16 when he was killed and he touched so many people in such
a short time.”
Also helping ease a bit of the pain is a website Nancy discovered through
a friend, www.operationstop.com.
The website was set up and maintained by David Long of Marshfield.
“David felt Terry’s story was important enough to do a web page
just for him,” says Nancy. “This site is about saving the lives
of our teens. Maybe Terry had to die so his story could be told. Maybe telling
his story will save the life of a child or grandchild.
“To have touched so many people in such a special way in that short
time, to have accomplished what he did in that short 16 years, what a life
Terry could have had. And what a loss we’ve had to suffer.
“We all have countless memories of Terry, but we would rather have him
here, all of him, with us.
“In that split second our whole lives changed. Hold onto and cherish
your children and loved ones. Tell your kids to slow down, pay attention
and buckle up so they can live. So you don’t have to go through what
we have since that day.”
“Terry always wore his seatbelt,” says Shirrley. “I don’t
understand why he didn’t wear his seatbelt that day.”
“I believe he would have died even with the seatbelt on,” adds
Nancy. “But he was partially ejected from the car before it rolled over.
If he had been wearing his seatbelt he would have stayed inside the car and
Shirrley wouldn’t have to live with that last image of Terry in her
mind.
“Because we lost him the way we did, we can’t move past this pain,
this hurt. We’ve all just tried to survive, one day at a time.
“We have to remind kids they are not invincible and it falls to parents
to take the responsibility of making sure their kids wear seatbelts,”
she continues. “They need to wear seatbelts so their parents and families
don’t have to go through what we’re going through.”
“It just takes a quick second to buckle up,” adds Shirrley. “And
it just takes a second, a snap of the fingers, for a child to end up in a
box.”
The Peat family hopes that by remembering Terry, by keeping his story alive,
no other family will have to endure the pain they’ve endured the past
year and will continue to endure for many years.
The past year has been difficult for Terry’s family. They’ve struggle
to resume their lives, through difficulty and sadness. Because everywhere
they turn they are reminded of the boy that Terry was – and the man
he will never be.
© Copyright 2007 by
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